How Perfectionism Fuels Anxiety — And What to Do About It
Perfectionism can be a complicated trait. It can feel difficult to change something that is often looked at as an asset in society, although it can be harmful to us long-term. Perfectionism can leave us tired, stressed, and even dreading the work we do. It can cause us to procrastinate, doubt ourselves, and never feel like what we’ve done is quite good enough. If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone–and there are ways to work through it.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the experience of having a fear of making mistakes. This fear can show up in a multitude of ways. It might make us overly sensitive to feedback or criticism, even when it’s well-intentioned. It might cause us to put off starting tasks because the pressure of doing them feels too overwhelming. It can also push us toward setting goals that are unrealistically high, and when we fall short of those goals, we may start to internalize that as a personal failure rather than recognizing the standard itself was the problem.
Who Is at Risk?
Anyone can experience perfectionism, but research shows that people who are part of underrepresented groups often struggle with it more. When society sends the message that certain people have to work harder to prove themselves, it can create pressure to perform perfectly just to feel like you belong.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Perfectionism:
You might like to procrastinate
Feel guilty
High level of self criticism
Not satisfied with your own work
Ways to Cope with Perfectionism:
Reassess Your Goals. Oftentimes in perfectionism, we set goals that are too high for us to accomplish. We set goals that are continuously unattainable and fall short, we may start to feel like we are not able to do anything right. There are a few ways to combat this., One way is setting more reasonable goals for ourselves, and the other is to focus more on the present and how we get to our goals as opposed to the goal itself.
Practice Self-Compassion. Sometimes, when we are perfectionists we tend to be hard on ourselves, because our expectations are set so high. When we work on the skill of self-compassion we are able to meet ourselves where we are at, and learn what our skill level looks like. We can do this by acknowledging when we may be trying to make things perfect, and learning about those emotions. Or additionally, allowing ourselves to not perfect all the time.
Try Grounding Techniques. When we start to get overwhelmed by the tasks we have to do or start to feel like we are going to focus on something too hard. We can use some grounding techniques, like being present and using our 5 senses, or taking deep breaths. This can help us work on our current priorities and get into a different mindset.
If you are experiencing negative impacts of perfectionism, reach out to our office, where we can work with you on how to cope with healthy skills and live a more balanced life.
Emma McMillen, Undergraduate Intern
Emma McMillen is an Undergraduate Intern at Flourish Counseling & Wellness. She is completing her final semester at Colorado State University, where she will graduate in August with a Bachelor of Science in Clinical/Counseling Psychology.
Emma plans to pursue a Master's degree in Counseling beginning in 2027, with a long-term goal of becoming a Registered Play Therapist specializing in Child-Centered Play Therapy.
