How to Overcome Social Anxiety: 4 Practical Tips That Actually Work

Social anxiety is defined as difficulty interacting with others or going out in public spaces without undue distress. Social anxiety is difficult because it can affect our ability to complete necessary tasks such as going to work or hanging out with friends. So what are some ways we can overcome social anxiety? 

1. Talk to people about it

Sometimes talking to friends and family about social anxiety can be a great place to start. Having others acknowledge your experience with social anxiety can help alleviate some of the symptoms you experience. People around you can help by learning what makes you anxious, and provide support in order to reduce those difficulties. At the very least, talking can help you express your emotions and ultimately feel less alone.

2. Thoughts Don’t Always Equal Reality 

For those who experience social anxiety it can be hard to differentiate your thoughts from the situation in front of you. We might think we said something funny or did something wrong, and others did not even notice. This is why it is important to learn that our thoughts are not always stemming from reality. Here is an example on how to reframe your thinking.

Initial Thought: “I am worried that by inviting my best friend to dinner next week they will feel obligated to go with me even if they don’t want to.”

Reframe: “My friend will respect their own boundaries and tell me if they are busy. They like to hang out with me because they are my friend.”

3. Expose yourself to social situations

If you are having a hard time handling these situations it can be helpful to expose yourself to them intentionally. By planning social events, you can mentally prepare and help yourself get used to them. It is like training your brain on a new skill, you can get comfortable as you practice more. This could look like:

• Inviting your friends out more

• Joining a new club or activity

• Going to places where you may socialize with others, like community events or bars 

4. Learn that Rejection is Okay

Sometimes social anxiety comes from having a fear of social rejection. You could work with a therapist to build up distress tolerance skills to support you in these situations. It is important to not avoid stressors all of the time. Just like we mentioned in the previous tip, it can be helpful to expose yourself to rejection from others in order to get more comfortable with what that feels like. Learning to challenge unhelpful narratives in your head after difficult situations is a supportive and necessary skill.

Reach out to our team today if you’re experiencing social anxiety and wanting more support as you navigate your experience.

Ellie Staples

Ellie is an undergraduate intern for Flourish Counseling & Wellness. She is currently a fourth-year student at Colorado State University, majoring in psychology with a concentration in clinical counseling. 

Ellie hopes to continue her education in graduate school this fall with a goal of becoming a licensed therapist working with children and adolescents. 

Remington is a 2.5 year old medical alert service dog. He has been doing service work for the last year and a half, and he hopes to one day to add therapy dog to his list of skills.