The Empty Chair at the Table: Making Room for Grief and Love During the Holidays
As we grow up, we are taught that the holidays are a time of joy—meaningful gatherings spent with people we love, celebrating milestones, traditions, and togetherness. Yet, when you’ve lost someone dear to you, these same celebrations can feel hollow, painful, or isolating. The season’s reminders of love and connection can amplify absence and grief in ways that are both tender and heavy.
This pain can feel unbearable at times, and it’s normal to want to push it away or ignore it. But grief doesn’t disappear when avoided—it waits for acknowledgment. Getting to know your grief and understanding how it shows up in your life can help you move through it with more compassion and care.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel my grief more intensely on certain holidays or anniversaries?
How does it show up—through restlessness, sadness, anger, or fatigue?
Do I struggle to eat or sleep?
Am I more irritable or tearful than usual?
Do I feel comforted by being with others, or do I need quiet time alone?
If this holiday season feels particularly heavy, try holding more space for your grief rather than resisting it. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Consider reducing extra stressors and surrounding yourself with people and places that bring comfort. Allow yourself to be gentle—with your body, your emotions, and your expectations.
There’s no “right” way to grieve, and no single path through it. You might find comfort in simple, intentional acts such as:
Saying a prayer for your loved one
Lighting a candle in their memory
Sharing a story or a favorite memory
Creating a plan for moments when you feel overwhelmed
Writing, crying, or otherwise expressing your emotions
Grief is love with nowhere to go, and the holidays can bring that truth into sharper focus. By honoring your loss and tending gently to your pain, you also honor the love that remains. This season, may you find small moments of peace, remembrance, and connection—both with others and within yourself.
References
Grief.com. (2025). Grief & The Holidays. https://grief.com/grief-the-holidays/
Wolfelt, Alan. (2023). Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season. Center for Loss and Life Transition. https://www.centerforloss.com/2023/12/helping-heal-holiday-season/
Anna Grace, Clinical Intern
Anna Grace is a Clinical Intern, completing her Masters Degree in Clinical Counseling at Bellevue University. Anna Grace is on track to be a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado.
She loves to work with teens and young adults navigating life’s challenges and transitions. Her approach is holistic and integrative, acknowledging the complexity of human existence.