How Therapy Can Help with Low Self-Esteem
Honoring International Boost Self-Esteem Month
Low self-esteem is far more common than people may realize. It often shows up quietly, whether through persistent self-doubt, harsh inner criticism, people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, or a deep sense of “never being enough.” For many, these beliefs didn’t appear overnight. They were shaped over time through relationships, life experiences, cultural messages, and moments when support or validation was missing.
As a mental health therapist, I want you to know this: low self-esteem is not a personal flaw. It is a learned response. The best news is that what is learned can be gently unlearned.
Understanding Low Self-Esteem
Self-esteem reflects how we see ourselves and the worth we believe we hold. When self-esteem is low, it can feel as though your inner world is dominated by self-criticism, comparison, shame or doubt. You might intellectually know you are capable or deserving, yet emotionally feel disconnected from that truth.
Therapy offers a space to slow down and explore where these beliefs originated. Often, low self-esteem is linked to early experiences of emotional invalidation, trauma, chronic stress, or persistently feeling unseen or misunderstood. Therapy helps bring compassion and clarity to these patterns rather than judgment.
How Therapy Supports Healing Self-Esteem
One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is the relationship between therapist and client. Being met with consistency, respect, and curiosity can begin to challenge long-held beliefs like “I don’t matter” or “I’m too much.” Over time, therapy helps individuals:
Identify and soften the inner critic
Understand how past experiences shaped current self-beliefs
Build emotional awareness and self-trust
Practice self-compassion without guilt
Develop boundaries that honor their needs
Rather than trying to “fix” yourself, therapy focuses on reconnecting you with the parts of you that already hold value, wisdom, and resilience.
Five Tangible Steps to Intentionally Build Healthy Self-Esteem
While therapy is a powerful supportive space to explore this topic, here are 5 intentional practices you can begin on your own:
Notice Your Inner Dialogue
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, especially during moments of stress or perceived failure. Ask yourself: Would I speak this way to someone I care about? Awareness is the first step toward change.Practice Self-Compassion in Small Moments
Self-compassion doesn’t require constant positivity. It can be as simple as saying, “This is hard, and I’m doing my best.” Offering yourself kindness during difficult moments builds emotional safety over time.Set One Gentle Boundary
Low self-esteem often thrives when our needs are overlooked. Choose one small boundary (saying no, asking for space, or expressing a preference) and notice how honoring yourself feels.Reconnect With Your Values
Self-esteem grows when our actions align with what matters to us, not external approval. Reflect on what values guide you (connection, creativity, rest, honesty) and take one small step in that direction.Seek Support Without Shame
Whether through therapy, trusted relationships, or community, healing self-esteem is not meant to be done alone. Reaching out is not a weakness; it is a powerful act of self-respect.
A Gentle Reminder
Building healthy self-esteem is not about becoming someone new. It is about remembering who you are beneath the layers of doubt and self-protection. During International Boost Self-Esteem Month, consider this an invitation, not simply to be “more confident,” but to be more compassionate with yourself.
If low self-esteem has been weighing on you, therapy can offer a supportive path forward. You deserve to experience yourself with the same care and understanding you so often extend to others.
Meet the Author
Cassie Thomas, MA, LPC
Cassie is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado and Wyoming. Cassie loves to support adolescent girls and gender non-conforming clients of any age in their exploration of identity.
Cassie is certified in EMDR and is skilled in supporting clients who struggle with chronic health conditions and CPTSD.
